Archive for the ‘Ramblings’ Category
I have finally decided…i don’t find Rihanna attractive…and i find the spelling of her name counterintuitive…and i really like the word counterintuitive and all that it implies…
I recently bought some flowers for some different people. I’m hoping it might make at least one of the recipients happy. Anyway, now the flower company is sending me emails about their specials and seasonal offers etc. Yesterday i got one titled “Admire your fiery Arian loved ones” …Arian flowers…you’d really want to make sure your audience knows how to spell and the difference between the two words. How many of those gift cards have been addressed to ‘my blue-eyed girl’…
Tags: arians, Berger, Bumbershoot, Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns, counterintuitive, Family Feud, Fender Jaguar, flowers, Friends, girls, Jack White, Mother Love Bone, Rihanna, school, social retard, Squires, texting, Unbridled, University, wastebook
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Well i hope no one got used to me being happy. You people will find this transition a lot easier. It was short-lived but hey, now i can write properly again. Silver-lining and all that bollocks.
So my parents now officially know the address of my website. Scary. I guess this is like the first time Marilyn Manson’s parents went to see him perform live…hmmm do i wear the black crotchless corset or the red one… Still i’d rather be Marilyn Manson’s parents than say the Pussycat sluts or Christina Aguilera or some other vacuous husk.
Tags: 101 Dalmatians, bankers, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Christina Aguilera, fur, Marilyn Manson, Mudhoney, music, onomatopoeia, PETA, Pussycat Sluts, Silk, Small Faces, Suits
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But if you try sometimes, you just might find… you’ll get shat on from a great height…
So why fucking try?
I had another entry prepared for you earlier but it doesn’t quite sit right with me at the moment so it’s been bumped.
Deal with it.
Tags: Boy, girls, Reuben
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Today was another day. The sky looked atmospheric. The sun was glistening off an ice puddle on my way into work like a massive light reflecting off some water which had frozen and taken on reflective capabilities. I ate lunch which was sustaining. Work was profitable for the people that employ me. I went home and drank a beverage that tasted exactly like beer before going to sleep.
Tags: Squires told me to
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The only positive i can think of with regards to early shifts is that the peasants in my suburb haven’t had a chance to set the daily smouldering fire that is the cigarette part of the rubbish bin at the top of the stairs before heading down into the underground station. Trust me when i tell you that there is nothing quite like the smell of burning tar-soaked filters to get you focused on the day ahead. Tantalises the nose hairs…
Tags: bathroom etiquette, Carly, Che Guevara, early shift, John Butler Trio, plastic revolutionaries, Sleep, sleep diary, smokers, Things that piss me off, Zebra
Posted in Ramblings | 5 Comments »
In my blog.txt file on my computer i have written ‘Women have mafia mentality’. I wish i knew what i was thinking when i wrote that. Sounds like a concept i would like to explore and build on…
Another one i have written is ‘Modern psychology stopped with the hysterectomy’. This is hilarious. I would assume i was being facetious with this. I think it is more funny to me to think where my mind must have been at that point in time. A quick brush up for those of you who don’t know, the hysterectomy originally came about as a cure for hysteria. It was thought at the time that only women could suffer from hysteria. What makes a woman different to a man? A Uterus. Well let’s get rid of the Uterus then…that should cure it!
Tags: blogs, Cunts, doctors, Foo Fighters, Frankfurt, girls, health insurance, Holy Grail, hysterectomy, Led Zeppelin, mafia mentality, money, Monty Python, North Face, Psychology, service industry, Stairway To Heaven
Posted in Ramblings | 4 Comments »
My writing sucks for two reasons at the moment…a) I have hardly any time to write any more until i get everything sorted with my flat and contract etc. b) I’ve been rather happy recently….for a change. My writing has always been awful when i’m happy. My songwriting used to really suffer. It just does nothing for me. No wonder i like Grunge music so much…teenage angst is the way forward. I’ll have to try tap in to some repressed hatred to write well again until i invariably fuck something up in my life to make me sad and angry again.
Tags: ADHD, And you will know us by the trail of the dead, Anno Domini High Definition, band names, Bizarre Love Triangle, Fender Catalina, Frank Sinatra, French accents, Frente, Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly., girls, Grunge, guitar, Jack Off Jill, Machine Gun Fellatio, My Baby wants to eat your pussy, Riverside, Things that piss me off, writing
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I slept like a baby last night…..in two hour intervals interrupted by inexplicable crying fits before shitting my pants and smiling…
Every now and then i forget how to breathe. I know it sounds like a family guy episode gone wrong. “Hey Lois! This is worse than that time i forgot how to breathe!” But seriously i do. It’s only certain situations that trigger it and i’m not always aware. It may be like a really hot chick sitting next to me on a tube or something and i become really conscious about breathing. Just act normal. Wait what are you doing? Are you breathing heavier? She’s going to know you think she’s hot! Stop it! Breathe normally! etc. And no matter how hard i try i can’t make it return to normal. I start breathing in and doing this “In…one Mississippi…two Mississippi…out!” crap.
Tags: Alanis Morrisette, Amy Winehouse, Big Yellow Taxi, breathing, Dreikoenigskeller, Family Guy, Fred Durst, inner monologue, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, JRR Tolkien, nicknames, Pete Doherty, Ruud Van Nistlerooy, Sleep, Squires, Tarrantino, Ticks and Leeches, tool, wallet chains, wordsmith
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H&M is not the place for sprint cyclists and hockey players. Seriously, even with my gut i can wear a slim-fit business shirt and the cut is good…but slim-fit trousers? I have to go up to twice my waist size before i can get my legs in without looking like the frontman of a britpop article band…
It feels like ages since i’ve written anything so i might be a little rusty. Sort of like Basketball at the moment. I’d love to see the German’s i play with, play a game with a full referee – it would be hilarious. It’s not a foul if you lose the ball people…these are called steals and turnovers. I’ve also read an incredible piece of tedium from Squires which may have dulled my creative abilities in telling a tale so apologies up front…it’s all on your shoulders mate.
Tags: accents, Amos Roberts, article bands, Australia, banter, Basketball, Boychild, britpop, c-bomb, children, Christmas, Deftones, Flying, Football, Germans, H&M, Italy, London, Manchester City, Manchester United, My Own Summer, Nandos, Old Trafford, Phong, recovery, Redhill, Ryanair, Sam Platt's, slim-fit, Squires, The Brocket, Tom Cruise, Vacuous husk, Wigan, York
Posted in Ramblings | 6 Comments »
*** Warning ***
It’s another long one. Sorry, but it is a little treat for y’all. This is the blogging equivalent to a time capsule. Every computer i work on – work, home, laptop, etc. has text files scattered about, normally called something ingenious like blog.txt with one-liners and point-form arguments or stuff i want to write about. The idea being that occasionally i open it up and flesh some of them out into a post. Sometimes i can’t be arsed or don’t think they need further explanation which usually provides the shorter snippets at the beginnings of my posts.
Tags: 2.0, Australia, Benj, blogs, Bon Jovi, Clint Eastwood, creature of habit, Cyclone Tracy, emoticons, Frankfurt, German, Jägermeister, Jamie Cullum, karaoke, Kat, keyboards, laundry, Manchester United, midnight buffet, no offence, pizza, playstation, pool, praktikum, Robert Plant, schlecker wine, spaghetti, spider solitaire, Squires, the irish, time capsule, Topical Storms, Triumph the dog, Walt Disney Corporation
Posted in Ramblings | 3 Comments »
