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Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?

You really get a lot of satisfaction publishing rants…comments left under posts…page hits…whole discussions on other peoples blogs about your posts without commenting on the post itself…

So i’m not allowed to discuss the c-bomb and now i can’t talk about fashion either. There’s just no keeping Squires’ high-brow audience happy is there. I might go back and edit my post (if i can’t write a new one) to include ugg-boots worn outside the house – that’s a definite no-no.

Me: There really are a lot of fit women in Frankfurt
Berger: There is a huge difference between ‘fit’ and ‘accessible’.

I used to watch a lot of stand-up comedy when i was living in Australia. I’d go to uni during the day and straight to work at the Rusty (RSL, club, pub) and then get home at 1-2 in the morning or so. Of course you can’t go straight to sleep as anyone who has done shift work will tell you, so i’d watch tele. What else is on at 2 in the morning than the comedy channel.

I remember this clip and I’m paraphrasing something i saw about 8 or 9 years ago here, but if it rings a bell and someone could tell me the comedian’s name i’d be much appreciative. Google gave me nothing.

You know when you fancy a girl and she tells you that everything is so good between you that she’d just like to keep it as friends? Imagine that in a job interview…

Thanks for coming Tommy. We’ve had a look through your cv and it’s very impressive. You’ve got written down here that you’re honest, not afraid of commitment…you’re good looking (creative licence rocks!)…we’ve seen you’re hilarious…basically you are exactly what we are looking for, but we’d just rather not. We admit, you are perfect for the role, in fact so much so that if you wouldn’t mind we’d like to keep your cv on file and call you to complain about the guys that we do take on and how bad they are at the job…

Want to know how to keep a fool waiting? I’ll tell you next week…

No seriously, do you want to know how to keep a fool waiting? Send him a text message which reads:

* some text missing *cking Amazing!!!

Watch how long they wait for the rest of that message to show up…

I have realised i have become desensitized to life in general. For a while i thought my body was just rejecting life. Strange illnesses, bites and rashes…it was just like i was allergic to being. Now it seems my mentality has joined the party. I don’t know that i experience polarities of feelings anymore. I don’t really get happy, or sad, or find things funny or scary or horrifying – i get annoyed a lot but that doesn’t really count. I find it hard to remember a time when i could truly answer “i’m happy”. Sure, United winning cheers me up briefly, and music still elicits a reaction, but the rest is some sort of unresponsive, indifferent, grey numbness. I can’t surround myself with music and football every day. I watch movies and tv and barely register that it’s on. How did i like the movie? It was ok. Was it? I have no idea. It is my standard response to everything. How are you? I’m ok. Am i? I wouldn’t know. I’ve given up caring. I’ve managed to remove almost every thing or person which was causing me anxiety or stress from my life, to the point that i just float around independent of connection. I look forward to the occasional argument to fire up the coals of my wit to see if it still works. Would a change of scenery help? Probably not. I don’t know what would. I’ll just carry on my semi-detached existence hoping that something sparks me back to life. I’ve gone from being a man of bridled enthusiasm, to being a man of bridled participation.

Told you i was fucking hilarious.

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18 witty retorts to “Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?”

  1. Squires says:

    Happy life to you too!!!
    I find this guys lyrics appropriate in situations like this:
    Now I know a disease that these doctors can’t treat
    You contract on the day you accept all you see
    Is a mirror, and a mirror is all it can be
    A reflection of something we’re missing
    And language just happened, it was never planned
    And it’s inadequate to describe where I am
    In the room of my house where the light’s never been
    Waiting for this day to end
    And these clocks keep unwinding and completely ignore
    Everything that we hate or adore
    Once the page of a calendar is turned it’s no more
    So tell me then, what was it for?
    Oh tell me, what was it for?

    hop a plane to Pisa tomorrow. It’s right down the road :)

  2. Jurckhilf Greitleutner says:

    Start using “geht so” instead of “ok” – be crazy.

  3. julia says:

    :D funny!, MR. I-d-rather-wear flip-flops-in wintertime-than-uggs
    c-bomb: not entertaining….let alone football talk…..
    yes, I know its your blog! write whatever you like, ill just pop by in case i need to counteract the stimulating effect of talking about fashion all day…..;)
    hey! doesnt sound like you got anything to complain about….
    and- from a womans (ok- womanchild) perspective: amazing sex does not a relationship make…

    (hope you know im kidding…)
    if you leave out the c-bomb and football your site would be amazing!!! THE perfect womans magazine! coz all women get is dating advice and how-to-make-your-man-happy written by a woman!
    what kind of avatar will i get?

  4. TomiHendrix says:

    @Squires – Who’s lyrics are they?

    @Jurckhilf – Perhaps when i am portrayed by my German alter ego, Der Dirndljäger!

    @Julia – Ugg boots were designed to serve a purpose…keeping feet your feet warm at home. Come on, you of all people must understand the concept of hausschuhe. One question for you though:

    1) Where did the amazing sex bit come from? I don’t think i wrote about amazing sex. Was Freud right?

    Apparently you are a green square with a lazy eye…

  5. Squires says:

    she’s obviously talking about me…noone else should comment on that topic lest I have something in my psyche shattered…
    mate I believe there is an option somewhere to no longer allow comments on an entry. Please use it quickly before she checks in again :)

  6. julia says:

    great…now i have ptosis…. i look like tegan…..

    yeah….i must have misread sth… i read your entry again today….did u change sth? yesterday it seemed like you were talking about friends with benefits type of relationship you wanted to take to another level….. sorry, dude…..

  7. Squires says:

    and if Julia had hausschuhe they would be heels so she could clomp clomp clomp…

  8. julia says:

    i bought a pair of slippers today…..no heels…..

  9. Squires says:

    Looking at your avatar makes me think you’re apathetic no matter what you say…
    if only someone would make slippers with heels…hmmmm

  10. TomiHendrix says:

    You talking to me or old wonky eyes over there? I think my avatar makes me look slightly interested, and slightly disinterested at the same time.

  11. Squires says:

    Wonky eyes…where did they go? I might have to boycott the page if I can’t get any ugly avatars to look at…

  12. Squires says:

    oh…they’re back…must be on my end.
    Feel free to delete these last two post…

  13. Berger says:

    Good post. I personally think it’s this country that’s doing you in mate. Since moving here I’ve noticed I’ve turned into a senseless arrogant ***t who acts in the most ignorant manner possible for no reason.

    Don’t think I’ll ever be that humble polite boy I once was again :-(

    * Disclaimer *
    Blogs and their response comments are supposed to be objective so don’t act like I’ve just slit a bunny rabbit from ear to ear. I’m already looking at emigrating anyway, unfortunately several issues regarding employment and finances are hindering the process. Now go and drink your own piss!

  14. Squires says:

    Berger has the coolest avatar ever!!!

    Berger, if it’s america you want let me put in a good word for you…I know noone….

  15. TomiHendrix says:

    Screw the rabbits…Myxamatosis having cretins…

    I like your style Berger, i may have to get you a contributors login to help me spread the word.

    Is “Propagators of Woe” too long for our band name?

  16. Squires says:

    as a potential fan…I just want you to know that I would never EVER go see a band called propagators of woe…just sayin…

  17. TomiHendrix says:

    You tell pork pies! You so would watch us if i said we were a psychobilly garage folk experimental antipodean gypsy band that haven’t signed to a major label and are playing a show at some unknown underground cellar bar with tickets under €6.

  18. Squires says:

    ok…maybe…A band called proagators of woe that had any of those tags in them I would see…but I’m saying based on name alone I would assume you’re a speed metal band or something…actually the name combined with the description would probably make me more intrigued…The signed or unsigned thing doesn’t have an effect on me.

    I should have an avatar when I hit submit…

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