My website is up for renewal…The thing is it’s a little bit pricier than what i remember so now i have to face reality…do i really want to pay a tenner a month to “entertain” Squires and Marius once a week and my sister every three months or so? And i use the word “entertain” loosely…
I hate people that spell loser as looser! You sir are a loser! Courtney Love is looser. Actually Courtney Love is a looser loser.
What’s a foot doctor called? Podiatrist or Paediatrician? I need one, and i want to be sure i’m getting the right person. My feet are awful…one of them in particular. It has this kind of growth thing over the heel. i need about 3 months in flip-flops i think and am hoping to get a subscription for it. Havianas as a tax write-off…nice.
I’ve noticed i subconsciously manage to find reasons to justify my unjustifiable hatred of people. Example. The other morning i walked to the train station and there was a geezer standing in my spot. I’m not OCD or anything, but i am a creature of habit. So here’s this LOSER standing exactly where i stand every morning…surely he has seen me before? Anyway whilst i was forced to stand in my backup spot – which is nowhere near as cool as my usual spot – i noticed i just began singling out things about him which annoyed me. At one point he got out his blackberry and i had to really concentrate to figure out if i really did hate all blackberry users, or, if i had suddenly just developed this hatred on the spot to vindicate my hatred for him standing in my spot?
My mind wandered off before i could fully explore this conundrum but if i had to take a 50/50 for the television viewers even though i’ve already taken the cash i’d have to say i hate all blackberry users….
Then there was this guy to my left who was just pacing…i mean proper walking in circles of about a 2 meter radius and at a decent pace mind you. He was just plain weird. I decided not to hate him just in case he wasn’t all there. You have to be careful throwing your hate around willy nilly as people tend to judge you when you openly hate ‘disadvantaged people’. They have this universal immunity, kind of like Seth Efricans…
People like that last guy though intrigue me, as does anything that doesn’t add up. I find i get bogged down on little trivial things, just because they don’t add up, or fit the pattern. As soon as something makes sense to me, i put it to the back of my mind and find something else to normalise. Like at lunch the other day, we walked past a smart car with an Opel sticker on the back. That just didn’t make sense to me so i couldn’t let it slide. I found myself running through different scenarios of how or why this might have happened. It’s not like i cared…if i came across the answer i probably wouldn’t give it a second thought. until then though it just bothers me. I’m the same with people. If their words don’t add up to their actions i start theorizing. I’m not suspicious i just want to know how things work. I’m not as bad as a Psych degree pigeonholing people who stray away from the norm, but i do want to know why? Once i know why i couldn’t care less if they stayed that way or not.
I think this idiosyncrasy of mine would come in handy if me and Squires fully develop out Bourne-Stylee training. Do you remember in the Bourne movies how Matt Damon bangs on about all the things he notices when he walks into a room, like the exits, how many cars are in the parking lot, how many miles he could run flat out at this altitude etc… well we think there can be a practical application of such a skill. Imagine using the ‘Bourne Method’ (patent pending) when entering your local bar.
One could tell you instantly:
- Where the exits are
- Closest methods of transport away from the pub
- Areas where it might be possible to smoke inside the pub
- Areas outside the pub where the smoking of both legal and/or illegal substances is likely to take place
- Who i could bum a cigarette off if needed to impress a girl
- Which girls i fancy in the room, in order of preference / attainability
- Who i could probably go home with if i was drunk enough and needed a place to stay
- Which lads are likely to kick off in a fight
- Which lads are likely to back you up if a fight kicks off which involves me
- Where the toilets are, and the approximate amount of time it would take to get there pending an explosion from either end.
I’m sure we came up with more but i can’t think of them now and have already given too much time to this already. If you can remember any more, comments form below!
I hate how at work every day, some of the lights don’t come on properly in the morning, so it is really only half bright – not that you can really notice mind you, until the missing ones gradually kick in several hours later….every day….which is met by sarcastic cheers from the traders….every day. Never get tired of that one….
Handy tip for you. When you are working in a German office and the air conditioners suddenly come on at full power and your colleague jokes that someone has just requested air, do not reply with “either that or we are being gassed….”. The innocence and naivety with which it was said may be misinterpreted.
You know when bands put a little short introduction to a song on their albums but they keep this as a separate track from the actual track itself? Ordinarily this does not have any impact and will blend in seamlessly…unless you have your ipod on shuffle and it puts one of the aforementioned introductions from, say, Body Count, leading into a completely different song from, say, Simon & Garfunkel…
“The problem isn’t the lyrics on the records,
its the fear of the white kids likin’ a black artist.
But the real problem is the fear of the white girl
fallin in love with the black man.
And here’s to you Mrs Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know…“
I cant believe how many Germans ride bikes with headphones on…for a people so anal about sticking to the rules you’d think they might pay attention the the ones where you don’t die if you get it wrong.
So, probably the reason why people love Coheed and Cambria and hate them at the same time…find below one of their song’s off the Neverender cd’s with everything from duelling Guitars, a talk box, singing into the pickups, a theremin, drum and bass solos etc… enjoy!
Tags: blackberrys, blogs, Body Count, Coheed and Cambria, Courtney Love, Germans, ipod, Jason Bourne, loser, Matt Damon, Simon & Garfunkel, theremin
I think all I came up with was
Where are the toilets?
Who are the drunk chicks?
You obviously spent the last 3 weeks thinking about this :D
If I had a video camera and lots of free time I can’t foresee that I would actually make a short video illustrating the Bourne method (patent pending)…but I would ponder it for about 3 minutes…
Though now that I’m thinking about it…
What could be easily stolen from the pub?
Where can I hide if a fight breaks out?
What sort of weapon can I grab if hiding from said fight doesn’t work?
Does my cell phone work in case I need to call the cops in case someone wants to fight?
Are there any other yanks in the room?
Are they GIs?
Can I pick a fight with them?
According to my calculations it’s been about 3 and a half months since your last entry…I know you’ve done a fair bit of stuff in the last 4 month…so how long until I can start to complain about your lack of entries ;)
About every 6 months or so you update this stinkin page and for me I really have two highlights a year…it’s when you update and then again when you update.