I’ll try to make this my last German-bashing post for a while…i said ‘try’ peoples…So me and a friend got drunk in a certain Irish pub one time while he was going through a bit of a rough patch. In the course of venting, we decided to write down our frustrations on the backs of these free post card things for posterity. I now bring you, the aforementioned venting cards. I believe the premise was a collection of things pissing us off at the time…
Enzyme missing people cunts
Butt crack people cunts
Suit-wearing people cunts
Cunts that use the word people instead of cunts.
YMCA – Village Cunts.
Hearing the same CD three times in a night over four pints.
Cunts that ask German questions first in an Irish pub quiz!
Bandwagon-jumping-on cunts.
Turncoat cunts.
Cunts who try to join in your Joke.
Overbite cunts.
Cunts that speak English with an American accent when they are not American (and not Filipino).
Old cunts.
Cunts that eat hamburgers with cutlery.
Cunts that mix shit with their beer.
Every cunt at the airport who gets off the escalators at the airport and just stands there looking for signs.
Cunts that take the middle urinal out of three. (The very definition of a cunt.)
Cunts who fight for equal rights and then want to be treated special.
Cunts who are taller than me.
Cunts who order Bulmers with no ice.
Breaking my seal.
Saying no to chump change – it’s Money bitch!
Hallo! (WIth inflection)
Hallochen…cunts.
People that get excited over quiz answers.
Guys who clap over shit.
KFC when they don’t take our voucher and charge us double.
Sauce.
Bighead cunts.
St Pauli Fans (Excluding Mexico who just needed a hoodie)
Being tired like a cunt.
Germans who speak English to other Germans.
Half beer cunts.
Cunts who don’t use smote enough (This is my personal favorite for its absurdness.)
Cunts who persist in clapping.
Missing out on having my balls massaged. (I must have been in the bathroom when this chance event occurred.)
German songs.
Questions about Bridget Jones (The movie, not the chick from Southside.)
Building Cunts – e.g. Kevin Costner
Cunts that stop me from doing Lord of the Dance.
It’s good to know someone else shares my propensity for this word.
Tags: Cunts, Enzyme, Germans, Irish Pub, Masturbation Death, Suits, Things that piss me off, Venting