I don’t have time at the moment to write much so to keep you occupied here’s one that made me chuckle a while ago.

It’s true, when i don’t sleep it turns into Squires’ blog. Random inside jokes. One-liners that probably require explanation even for the people involved. Huge chunks cut and pasted from another website. Unexplained and un-related lyrics to songs nobody else knows or even cares about… it’s great, at least you know you can have a day off at some day mate and i can cover for you!

Before i start my latest series of rants, this is not my fabled ‘next blog entry’. That would require time, patience and dedication of which i have next to none of at the moment.

I found my songbook! I do not have any word in the English language to describe how happy and relieved I am not to have lost it. It is over 10 years in the making now.

Every day i take my earring out to go and work at the bank and every day i have to pierce it again when i get home. Completely covered over. I think that i am an X-man. Is that how you say it? I don’t want to offend any geeks. Ok i think i am one of the X-Men? How’s that? My eyebrow ring was even worse. If i took it out to play basketball for an hour i would have to re-pierce that one, and that one bled.

I used to think that i was hyper-observant, perceptive, even the ability to pre-empt the future – a soothsayer perhaps – because i always knew when a street person was going to talk to me….then i figured out that street people talk to anyone and everyone. They really are prejudice free. They are role models for the future.

Actually i think i just wanted to be a soothsayer because it is something that the kids of today aren’t really interested in, so i would face less competition in going for jobs. Maybe a candlestick maker…or something that still requires the use of an anvil. For CJ and red a soothsayer is ein Wahrsager oder einer Wahrsagerin. I don’t imagine the word Soothsayer would come up in too many English text books…unless you learn’t by reading Asterix.

Is there anything more annoying of a morning than someone walking behind you in high heels at a slightly faster rate than you? It sounds so panicked. Is someone chasing them? I don’t particulalry want to look around because if there is someone chasing them i may have to play Johnny hero. I hate Johnny Hero. He’s a cunt.

Why do high-heels have to make so much noise? Can they not put some rubber thingies on the bottom? Or is that one of the features of high-heels that is attractive to women? The ability to piss people off at a mass level.

60 year old woman: Hmmm what am i doing today again? That’s right i’m overseeing some examinations at the local school. Where are the exams again? The basketball court? Hmmm better take these comfortable rubber-soled loafers off that i have been wearing for the past 20 years and better put on some ridiculous heels while im walking in between rows on a wooden floor. That should help them concentrate.

Paraphrasing Catharine’s text: “I just went home to read a book, then a friend rang me to sing to me how much she loves me, so that cheered me up”

Matt’s witty reply: “Your friend’s call you to say how much they love you? Who do you hang out with, Lionel Ritchie?”

Would have been sooo much funnier had i remembered that it was Stevie Wonder.

So Coheed and Cambria were awesome. He had all the moves including singing into his pickups and some sort of weird instrument that Phil assures me Jimmy Page also once used. He’s too fat to use it now. I still managed to get sufficiently annoyed by the people around me. I really have to come up with a new strategy for concerts.

I learn’t a new word during the week. Well first of all i didn’t believe that it was actually a word, but then i looked it up and it is. I don’t normally plug any kind of products or what-have-you but i will tell you if you are looking for a Dictionary, go no further than Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of Law. Dictionary.com was trying to explain my new word to me when i stumbled on Merriam’s contribution.

Main Entry: fungible
Function: noun
: something that is fungible

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

I wonder what their definition of a lawyer is: someone who lawyers stuff?

A person who turned out to be a surprising fountain of wisdom once said to me, everyone has issues – it’s just that some people let their issues get the better of them leaving the rest of us just deal with the pieces that remain.

I said this 10 years ago, then i didn’t have to repeat it until about 5 years later, then a few years ago, and now. Seems the intervals are getting shorter – who needs enemies when you have got ‘friends’ like mine?

People who can not stand their own company should probably not burn all of their bridges…

Xavier’s latest offering…

Tags: Asterix, candlestick maker, Coheed and Cambria, Cunts, Friends, fungible, high-heels, Jimmy Page, Johnny Hero, Lionel Ritchie, Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, piercings, Singer Phil, songwriting, soothsaying, Squires, Stevie Wonder, Time to Smile, X-Men, Xavier Rudd

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