Posts Tagged ‘Cunts’
Something that is fungible - March 27th, 2010

I don’t have time at the moment to write much so to keep you occupied here’s one that made me chuckle a while ago.

It’s true, when i don’t sleep it turns into Squires’ blog. Random inside jokes. One-liners that probably require explanation even for the people involved. Huge chunks cut and pasted from another website. Unexplained and un-related lyrics to songs nobody else knows or even cares about… it’s great, at least you know you can have a day off at some day mate and i can cover for you!

Before i start my latest series of rants, this is not my fabled ‘next blog entry’. That would require time, patience and dedication of which i have next to none of at the moment.

What also floats in water? - February 4th, 2010

In my blog.txt file on my computer i have written ‘Women have mafia mentality’. I wish i knew what i was thinking when i wrote that. Sounds like a concept i would like to explore and build on…

Another one i have written is ‘Modern psychology stopped with the hysterectomy’. This is hilarious. I would assume i was being facetious with this. I think it is more funny to me to think where my mind must have been at that point in time. A quick brush up for those of you who don’t know, the hysterectomy originally came about as a cure for hysteria. It was thought at the time that only women could suffer from hysteria. What makes a woman different to a man? A Uterus. Well let’s get rid of the Uterus then…that should cure it!

I still call Australia home - December 24th, 2009

Merry Christmas all!

I had to slightly edit this one because of some comments leading up to the US election, for no other reason than they didn’t make sense now in the timeline. Oh, and i was in Australia when i wrote this one so just pretend im on holidays there and not in the UK.

OK so speaking as an Australian in Australia…albeit for a short bit of time, here are some observations / words of advice…

I want to have Roonbeast’s baby - December 1st, 2009

Always be cautious around bow-legged people…they’re shifty. Nobody’s going around riding horses any more, so why are they bow-legged? Shifty i tell you.

While I’m on the topic of legs… your knees should not be the widest part of your legs. You’re supposed to have thigh muscles AND calf muscles. Seriously people, I will buy you a sandwich, it just looks fucking disgusting.

Some kind of joke - November 25th, 2009

So most of the time it is probably not really clear where the provocation comes for me to spit my bile at someone or something. Probably a bad choice of words given last Fridays effort. I’m pretty sure Berger and Keith know where my bile came from. But i’ll show you this time the motivation for this post.

When i grow up, i don’t want to be a pussycat slut - October 11th, 2009

I am eternally surprised when i encounter someone who walks slower than i do. I don’t even know if what i do is considered walking. I sort of amble. Michael Jordan can walk faster than me by jumping and letting the earth rotate beneath him. If i was in Zeppelin the chorus would have been “It’s time to amble on, sing my song” I should have stuck with my songwriting…my lyrics are awesome.
“and i got more rhymes than the beasties got songs about having more rhymes than other people, places and things”

Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety? - October 1st, 2009

You really get a lot of satisfaction publishing rants…comments left under posts…page hits…whole discussions on other peoples blogs about your posts without commenting on the post itself…
So i’m not allowed to discuss the c-bomb and now i can’t talk about fashion either. There’s just no keeping Squires’ high-brow audience happy is there. I might go back and edit my post (if i can’t write a new one) to include ugg-boots worn outside the house – that’s a definite no-no.

Illustrating the popularity of the c-bomb - September 18th, 2009

Say what you want about my affinity for the word but it certainly brings the public in. Whether or not it is the type of public i want is another matter. After all, my blog’s subheading is and was (in the xanga days) ‘Illustrating the diversity of the C-word’; it does carry an underlying agenda. I remembered an entry from Squires some time back (link?) about the different ways people had come across his website (referrals for the un-web 2.0), so i decided i would chew through some time and have a look.

Look for the girl with Kaleidoscope eyes…. - September 15th, 2009

…at least that way you’ll know she’s a nutter. Seriously i’d rather find out up front and know what you are dealing with than at some stage further down the road when you are in too deep to make a gracious exit.
Comically, I don’t date anywhere near enough girls where i can pass these sorts of comments off without the girl(s) in question getting suspicious.

God smote the enemies of the righteous - July 11th, 2009

I’ll try to make this my last German-bashing post for a while…i said ‘try’ peoples…So me and a friend got drunk in a certain Irish pub one time while he was going through a bit of a rough patch. In the course of venting, we decided to write down our frustrations on the backs of these free post card things for posterity. I now bring you, the aforementioned venting cards. I believe the premise was a collection of things pissing us off at the time…

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