I had to slightly edit this one because of some comments leading up to the US election, for no other reason than they didn’t make sense now in the timeline.  Oh, and i was in Australia when i wrote this one so just pretend im on holidays there and not in the UK.

OK so speaking as an Australian in Australia…albeit for a short bit of time, here are some observations / words of advice…

Who, the FUCK, spends $45 to go to a gig and speaks all the way through it? Who? Australians! For fucks sake here’s 30 bucks go buy the cd, turn it up really loud at home and then speak to your dog about the weekend or something…whatever just don’t do it the fuck away from me at a show. Everytime the music goes quiet you can just hear this low fucking annoying hum…i don’t give a flying fuck what Dazza said to Bruce at the club the othernight…otherwise i would have paid money to go see Bogan’s Live…. cunts!

Guys, mullet’s are not cool. I don’t care if you think you are being funny, the jokes gone on long enough. You look like a tards.

That emo dickhead i saw at Miranda…if you want to put hair over one of your eyes and look all sad and cut yourself, that’s fine, each to their own. Probably wouldn’t advise growing a charlie chaplin moustache as well though and resembling the star of the History Channel….tool!

Girls, i’m probably on my own on this one but that is the beauty of my rants, i am not doing it for your approval. Pregnancy tops should only be worn by pregnant women. These tops that fly out from just below the bra line in to what looks like a 3 year olds communion dress down to the tops of your jeans just look stupid. If you wear one i just believe you are either pregnant or hiding a belly. Congratulations if that is/was your mission.

Everyone, fluro has had it’s day. Let it go. There is no need in modern society for fluro board shorts.

Even our normal non-american-election news show though proves that we have become little litigious American wannabes. All it is is bad news and lawsuits. This is probably why i don’t watch the news. Take for example the case of this child that drowned while at swimming lessons at school. Now the parents are of course suing. In presenting the facts the news tart trying to be diplomatic presented what she believes to be the contentious points in the case…in point form (very compassionate). From memory her points were something like::

- Debateable permission slip – Apparently the parents had signed the form saying the child could attend the swimming lessons, but the part about ‘my child can swim 20meteres’ was circled in a different coloured pen, most probably by the child herself before handing it in to the teacher.
- Insufficient supervision
- The amount of children in the pool or some bollocks

I can’t remember the rest, she waved her hand in front of a blue screen to another 4 or 5 points like she was presenting the weather. I can summarise the argument actually.

Fuck the permission slip and every other contentious issue! They are kids in a swimming pool and should be supervised whether or not they can swim 20m! How is suing the school going to alleviate heartache? Way to put a price on your child…pricks.

There you go Germany, it’s not only you that pisses me off.

I miss recovery.