Posts Tagged ‘Flying’
Why can’t we not be sober? - November 20th, 2010

Have you ever noticed how abstinence is the only thing that is regarded as an achievement that involves simply doing nothing. I did nothing today – You fucking lazy shit! I didn’t drink today – well done!

Have you ever watched old people? I mean not just watching them as they walk at an ever decreasing pace in front of you. I mean i walk slow but i’ve seen retarded, one-legged ants cover a greater distance than some of them. They would probably be able to move faster if they just jumped and let the earth’s rotation move underneath them. But i mean proper watched them from some vantage point? waiting for a train or something like that? Sooner or later they will stop and check what they’re doing…as if they are not 100% sure they should be doing it. Like when they randomly stop everyone around you at the airport to get their bag swabbed and you’re not really sure if you are allowed to walk through or they are going to call in special ops to hunt you down…

and now the end is near… - October 28th, 2010

Ok so I actually wrote this a few months ago but haven’t gotten around to posting it. Deal with it. So after a few less than comfortable flights i finally lucked out. Seated in 75E which probably doesn’t sound that good…except it’s actually the very last row in a 747, the center part…and there’s no one in 75G, F or D. That’s right folks…this little black duck has 4 seats to himself at the back of the plane. So at the moment i have what is left over of my beef ragout on the table to my left…my laptop on the table in front of me and a glass of red and my ipod on the table to my right…and the 4th table rested.

A vacuous husk of a woman - January 6th, 2010

H&M is not the place for sprint cyclists and hockey players. Seriously, even with my gut i can wear a slim-fit business shirt and the cut is good…but slim-fit trousers? I have to go up to twice my waist size before i can get my legs in without looking like the frontman of a britpop article band…

It feels like ages since i’ve written anything so i might be a little rusty. Sort of like Basketball at the moment. I’d love to see the German’s i play with, play a game with a full referee – it would be hilarious. It’s not a foul if you lose the ball people…these are called steals and turnovers. I’ve also read an incredible piece of tedium from Squires which may have dulled my creative abilities in telling a tale so apologies up front…it’s all on your shoulders mate.

A priest, a hooligan and a bewildered Aussie walk into Old Trafford… - August 26th, 2009

I’m not finding things as funny any more as i continue to do an impersonation of someone that doesn’t care.
Another from the old Xanga days. It’s funny to read this actually to see that i once liked Tevez. That was before he tried to be bigger than our team. You can try to go against Fergie if you’re stupid enough Carlito, but don’t think for one second the fans will follow you down that road.

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