H&M is not the place for sprint cyclists and hockey players. Seriously, even with my gut i can wear a slim-fit business shirt and the cut is good…but slim-fit trousers? I have to go up to twice my waist size before i can get my legs in without looking like the frontman of a britpop article band…

It feels like ages since i’ve written anything so i might be a little rusty. Sort of like Basketball at the moment. I’d love to see the German’s i play with, play a game with a full referee – it would be hilarious. It’s not a foul if you lose the ball people…these are called steals and turnovers. I’ve also read an incredible piece of tedium from Squires which may have dulled my creative abilities in telling a tale so apologies up front…it’s all on your shoulders mate.