Posts Tagged ‘Germans’
H&M is not the place for sprint cyclists and hockey players. Seriously, even with my gut i can wear a slim-fit business shirt and the cut is good…but slim-fit trousers? I have to go up to twice my waist size before i can get my legs in without looking like the frontman of a britpop article band…
It feels like ages since i’ve written anything so i might be a little rusty. Sort of like Basketball at the moment. I’d love to see the German’s i play with, play a game with a full referee – it would be hilarious. It’s not a foul if you lose the ball people…these are called steals and turnovers. I’ve also read an incredible piece of tedium from Squires which may have dulled my creative abilities in telling a tale so apologies up front…it’s all on your shoulders mate.
Tags: accents, Amos Roberts, article bands, Australia, banter, Basketball, Boychild, britpop, c-bomb, children, Christmas, Deftones, Flying, Football, Germans, H&M, Italy, London, Manchester City, Manchester United, My Own Summer, Nandos, Old Trafford, Phong, recovery, Redhill, Ryanair, Sam Platt's, slim-fit, Squires, The Brocket, Tom Cruise, Vacuous husk, Wigan, York
Posted in Ramblings | 6 Comments »
I am eternally surprised when i encounter someone who walks slower than i do. I don’t even know if what i do is considered walking. I sort of amble. Michael Jordan can walk faster than me by jumping and letting the earth rotate beneath him. If i was in Zeppelin the chorus would have been “It’s time to amble on, sing my song” I should have stuck with my songwriting…my lyrics are awesome.
“and i got more rhymes than the beasties got songs about having more rhymes than other people, places and things”
Tags: ambling, Annoyances, Ashes, Australia, beastie boys, Cricket, Cunts, England, Friends, Germans, Michael Jordan, Old Age, oompah loompahs, Pussycat Sluts, Sir Alex Ferguson, sunbeds, Trains
Posted in Ramblings | 2 Comments »
Never one to take more than i give, here is a little bit of education for y’all. Wikipedia is a bit like a pick-a-path novel sometimes. Reading an article on Australian sports fans being limited to 24 cans of beer for the annual Bathurst 1000 race and the associated uproar, some young upstart for the BBC has tried to claim that the title given to Aussies as big drinkers may be erroneous. Typical really – whinging frigging poms trying to take some other title off us. Let me just reassure you, we will confidently drink you under the table. The Germans…will drink you under the table. The Irish…will drink you under the table…then wake you up to do shots.
Tags: Alyssa Milano, Australia, bathurst 1000, bbc, Beer, Bob Hawke, Charmed, Dannii Minogue, Drinking, Germans, Home and Away, Irish, John Howard, John McEwen, Julian McMahon, kevin bacon, Nip / Tuck, Pick-a-path, Politics, Prime Minister, whinging poms, wikipedia, William McMahon
Posted in Ramblings | 3 Comments »
I’m not finding things as funny any more as i continue to do an impersonation of someone that doesn’t care.
Another from the old Xanga days. It’s funny to read this actually to see that i once liked Tevez. That was before he tried to be bigger than our team. You can try to go against Fergie if you’re stupid enough Carlito, but don’t think for one second the fans will follow you down that road.
Tags: Bolton, Carlos Tevez, Chelski, Cider, Coldplay, Flying, Germans, Hooligans, Jizz In My Pants, John Terry, Judge Reinhold, Kryptonite, Manchester United, Nemanja Vidic, Old Trafford, Priest, Quadruple Parking, Red Army, Rio Ferdinand, Ryan Giggs, Swindon, Wigan, Xanga
Posted in The good ol' Xanga days | No Comments »
Another import from the classic Xanga days…
I would describe myself as apathetic, except that i don’t possess the incline to subscribe to a doctrine.
Normally this doesn’t cause an issue…except in relationships…however i can see it getting me into trouble. Take the other day for example, when i was pretty much bullied on a train. It could have ended worse i guess.
Tags: Apathy, ben folds, bullying, culling, Dave Matthews, facebook, Foy Vance, Germans, john frusciante, milla jovovich, personal space, Pete Townsend, Pussycat Sluts, Queueing, revelations, too much perfume, Trains, wikipedia
Posted in The good ol' Xanga days | No Comments »
I’ll try to make this my last German-bashing post for a while…i said ‘try’ peoples…So me and a friend got drunk in a certain Irish pub one time while he was going through a bit of a rough patch. In the course of venting, we decided to write down our frustrations on the backs of these free post card things for posterity. I now bring you, the aforementioned venting cards. I believe the premise was a collection of things pissing us off at the time…
Tags: Cunts, Enzyme, Germans, Irish Pub, Masturbation Death, Suits, Things that piss me off, Venting
Posted in Ramblings | No Comments »
So i have my own website now. DO NOT be expecting more frequent updates. I am a man of bridled enthusiasm…
I never managed to grow dreadlocks…coincidentally i never became a Bike Courier either…
I think i may have come up with a valid explanation. Everything i have whinged about with regards to German behaviour can be explained.
Tags: Basketball, Bike Couriers, Bridled Enthusiasm, Coma, Dreadlocks, Football, Formula 1, Germans, Max Sharam, Peripheral Vision, Queueing, Schumacher, Socks and Sandals, U-bahns
Posted in Ramblings | 3 Comments »
