I haven’t had a chance to sit down recently and put my thoughts into a more coherent verse, so here are a collection of random tidbits.

A conversation with a German colleague recently:

GC: I’m bored, can you hire me as your secretary
Me: ummm I’m going to go with no.
GC: Please, i can get a miniskirt?
Me: ummm, no. It’s just that you don’t float my boat.

Which then turned into a discussion about what that actually means. I mean i’m not really using it in the most orthodox way, but then again when have i ever spoken in orthodox terms?

So i threw it into leo online translator and got nothing except for a link to urbandictionary.com:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whatever+floats+your+boat

If you can’t be bothered going to the site, here are what i would call my highlghts:

3. whatever floats your boat

A term used to say, “I’m glad that makes you happy, even though I don’t get it myself.”

Comes from the term “man in the boat” referring to the clitoris and the female genitalia. So, if your boat is floating, you are quite happy.

For example:
1: I love eating pigs feet, they sure are tasty.
2: That sounds nasty, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

This is possibly the worst derivation-analogy i have ever come across… Man in a boat…Clitoris. No wonder blokes can’t fucking find it if they are looking for the old man of the sea!

4. whatever floats your boat

(Idiom) What you do is your choice

You can go for the hot chick, or you can try and get a new car from that fat chick by eating her out, whatever floats your boat.

Simply stunning.

5. whatever floats your boat

WATER!!!
thats what floats my boat at least.

also used as an expression which means “you can do whatever your preference is.”
i dont see how that has anything to do with water, though…

Jeremy:Hey Chad want to go to Mcdonalds or Taco Bell across the street?
Chad:Whatever floats your boat.
Jeremy:uh, water?…
Chad:no, asshat.its an expression.

I had no idea you could add ass and hat together to make it an insult. However i will endeavour to use my new found knowledge in the not too distant future.

Why do they make cotton buds the same size and shape as the ear canal if they don’t want us to put them in there?

16:00 Westwood, Matthew this fella in the jacks just went for the handtowels…and THEN the blowdryer
16:04 Murphy, Alan you have dryers? fancy
16:04 Murphy, Alan are they those cool dyson dryers?
16:05 Westwood, Matthew didnt know there were different types of dryers :P
16:05 Murphy, Alan the dyson dryers are in the class of their own ;)
16:05 Westwood, Matthew are they the ones u sort of put your hands inside this thing
16:05 Murphy, Alan yeah
16:05 Westwood, Matthew and it blows really hard and hot from both sides?
16:06 Murphy, Alan that’s the one
16:06 Westwood, Matthew oh yeah ive seen them
16:06 Westwood, Matthew nah we dont have them
16:06 Westwood, Matthew just bog standard ones…excuse the pun

I think i use smiley faces in my texts and emails too frequently…Does this annoy people? It’s all Silk’s fault.

The IT Helpdesk at work appear to know where the g spot is and can seemingly activate it at will.

I find Michael Moore’s appearance to be personally offensive.

Perhaps the adding of vowels to the ends of words should be left to the Italians and Australian nick-namers – otherwise the results can sometimes be misinterpreted…

11:09 Red sorry…was in London for a while,, but I think I told you that! Hmmm…just really been working as usual, and between here and my boyfriend’s house in Duesseldorf…he just moved there from Mainz while I was in London Town! Mel said you went homo! How was it? Sounded like you had a rock and fabbo time!