I wish that my runny nose would either feck right off, or would turn into a full-blown cold. I seem to be resigned to some sort of sniffly purgatory and i’m not that big a fan it must be said.

I should take this opportunity to mention that a lot of the things i write on here have been previously road tested on the unsuspecting individuals i hang out with. It’s probably a good thing they don’t read my blog cause then they would realise i am just going for extra mileage of something that has already gotten a laugh.

I have more fashion criticisms to add to the list of things that piss me off now that it looks like i’ll be staying in Frankfurt a while longer.

Leggings – i don’t think i have explicitly mentioned leggings on here before, but the more that i see them the more the annoy me. The ONLY time leggings are acceptable is if you are going to a fancy dress party where the theme is the 80’s or your favourite Olvia Newton john film clip. That’s it. And none of this wearing leggings underneath mini skirts or shorts – this goes for jeans under skirts as well – this is just cheating. You can’t get any credit for wearing revealing clothing by covering it up with more clothing. Are you going to put a bikini top over the top of a shirt next?

Peter Pan boots – Seriously, what’s the story here? Why is there a bunch of women walking around Frankfurt with these Peter Pan / Robin Hood floppy looking boots that go just over the ankle and look like they should be accompanied by an épée? If you complete your outfit with the aforementioned leggings you may as well be one of the merry men!

But see this is the thing. As much as these things annoy the fuck out of me, there is one thing that can override them all. One simple yet drastic flaw in male chemistry – the pant-line thumb. Advertising agencies have known about this for a while i think, judging by magazine covers and the like. You’ve seen it…some svelte harlot, tanned, bikini etc. standing there staring at you with her thumb resting gently on the inside of the waste band to her bikini bottoms, wantonly devouring you with her look. Take her hand out of the top of her pants and she looks like a semi-dement. What is this genetic weakness we have? It’s just a thumb?!? It’s like a pirate parlay. I could be absolutely livid with a girl and hate her guts, and she could put her thumb in the top of her pants and i’d be instantly aroused. Achilles had two weaknesses…his heel and the pant-line thumb.

Having said that, if Milla Jovovich or Megan Fox came up to me wearing leggings and peter pan boots i wouldn’t care if they had any thumbs or not, their power beats scissors, paper, rock and dynamite!

Have you seen what is happening to my country? We should have a new slogan for tourism Australia:

Missing the bible? We’ve got floods in the north, fires in the south, locusts coming in from the West and now dust falling everywhere. So where the bloody hell are ya?

Tags: 80's, Australia, dust, fashion, fires, floods, girls, leggings, locusts, megan fox, milla jovovich, olivia newton john, pant-line thumb, peter pan boots, purgatory, sick, the bible

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 at 6:02 pm and is filed under Ramblings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.