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What also floats in water?

In my blog.txt file on my computer i have written ‘Women have mafia mentality’. I wish i knew what i was thinking when i wrote that. Sounds like a concept i would like to explore and build on…

Another one i have written is ‘Modern psychology stopped with the hysterectomy’. This is hilarious. I would assume i was being facetious with this. I think it is more funny to me to think where my mind must have been at that point in time. A quick brush up for those of you who don’t know, the hysterectomy originally came about as a cure for hysteria. It was thought at the time that only women could suffer from hysteria. What makes a woman different to a man? A Uterus. Well let’s get rid of the Uterus then…that should cure it!

A duck!
Who are you that are so wise in the ways of science…

In many ways modern psychology hasn’t progressed at all since these days. Of course there have been giant leaps forward in some areas but so many old habits are still lingering. I wonder why i would have been upset about psychology??? The mind boggles.

Working in an insurance agency is the ideal place for a woman to hunt for men. In three questions yesterday i was asked ‘Am i married?’, ‘Do i have any kids?’ and ‘how much money do you make?’ It’s like looking in a catalogue really isn’t it…Have to admit i was a bit embarrassed when she followed it up with ‘Well you do make a fair bit of money….which is a good thing!’ The latter comment tacked on because i had become visibly uncomfortable. Firstly i don’t earn that much, and secondly i don’t find money to be impressive. If i wanted my ego fellated i would go hang out at Living or Velvet with the masses of horrible excuses for people that seem to plague financial cities like Frankfurt.

I almost got suckered in by suggestive advertising yesterday. Which is annoying really cause i’m not usually susceptible to suggestion. I was in Railslide and they were having a sale on Jackets for 50% off. I’ve needed a new jacket for about 2 years now so was browsing away. Noticed this brown number so thought i’d check out the size. I only added brown into my repertoire last year, seems to be working. I notice the label and it’s a North Face jacket. I fucking hate North Face as a brand. I hate people that wear North Face gear. Have you ever even seen a fucking mountain? I bet you drive a range rover through the city as well. Cunts.

Anyway, i was about to walk away but just out of curiosity i thought i’d check out the price. Original price €399, marked down to €249…i’m thinking an additional 50% off this makes it just over €120. That’s almost €300 off! Now all of a sudden i am thinking…well how much do i really hate North Face? Surely they deserve their day in the sun…But i stood strong! €400 is a bit extravagant for a jacket for my tastes..that’s about the price of my entire wardrobe…and it’s still fucking North Face!

I rate that story about a 2 out of 5. I gave one point for the use of the c-bomb.

I’ve been going to the doctors a lot recently…hell if i’m paying for health insurance i may as well use it. Anyways, i have to say i really, really dislike reception staff in health care facilities. Notice how i didn’t use ‘hate’? Cause you’d all think i was a prick if i said i hated them. …I fucking hate anyone working in the service industry who doesn’t appear to like their job. If you don’t like it, don’t fucking do it! The service industry wasn’t for me, that’s why i got out. If you don’t like talking to people, don’t get a fucking job which requires you to answer phones and greet people. Slags.

My GP is good, actually my GP is great. Silk put me on to them. I sit in their waiting room listening to whale noises and shit, ogling the walls which are covered by autographed pictures of the head doctor with famous people. Seriously, Shakira, Elton john, Carlos Santana…all get sick going through Frankfurt apparently. But the nurses there are great. They at least attempt to speak English with me. They also assume i can’t speak any German at all when they speak to each other – “Er ist süß!”

Damn right i’m sweet bitches…

I have no problems with that place, it’s when they refer me to a specialist or something that all the problems begin. Every fucking time, i try as much German as i can…they refuse to speak any English and develop some massive chip on their shoulder like i shouldn’t be there. It’s not the doctors, they are fine. Always the fucking reception staff. Today i walked out after my ultrasound – turns out im not preggers – and i said to the woman in German ‘..ahh are we done?’ She points back to where i just came from and says ‘i don’t know, go and ask them’. Fuck that. I just walked out the door. You can ring me if you need anything else. Trollop.

I now have my insurance sorted, tax sorted, and my health is looking better. 3 Down, 3 to go!

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4 witty retorts to “What also floats in water?”

  1. Squires says:

    Wow…two entries in 3 days. Slow day at work?

    I didn’t know c-bombs are worth a point…that would about triple the average score of my stories…Need to reconsider this…

  2. TomiHendrix says:

    Don’t be silly….and yes current and future prospective employers, Joe is only kidding. I would never waste valuable work time…

    I thought you didn’t use c-bombs? Does your M(u)m know? Should i tell her?

  3. Squires says:

    so you’re going to put this site up on your CV now? That can only end well.

    Did you give this link to your mum? I’m sure she’d love to be reading this as much as me :)

  4. TomiHendrix says:

    There’s a link to it on wastebook and loads of work people are on there…bosses included. It’s only a matter of time.

    Haven’t sent it to the folks yet. Everytime i think of letting them in on it i have a look at my most recent post and see something else that they wouldn’t be proud of me for =) I need to clean up my act.

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